I am stunned and paralyzed.
I always get to be "GerRee." Always. Does that make me spoiled? Yes. But I earned this. I endured teasing and countless mispronunciations and misspellings of my name all throughout childhood. WITHOUT self-righteous, corrective response from me, mind you. But, by the time we all went wired, and everyone was having to use handles like Jen146 and SteveA7, I came out on top. I never had to compromise, or even throw in my last name for good measure. Nope.
Just "GerRee."
Then came Twitter. I purposely dragged my feet. Ever the early adopter of other social media, I decided to sit the first round out, just to make sure I wasn't taking on a new online habit that soon would evaporate like so many others.
But here I am, coming in on the "late adopter" curve, as everyone tweets. And, what to my wondering eyes does appear?
"Username has already been taken."
I blinked. I typed it in again. Same result, obviously.
I can't move. I can't breathe. Someone. Else. Is GerRee?
The kicker: They first tweeted only two weeks ago. I missed my window by 15 days. The gut punch: They haven't tweeted since.
I have been thwarted by a late-adopter, non-user. Perhaps he or she has been running into me at every turn for the last 15 years.
And they've finally won.
Perhaps I will chose LoserGerRee for my Twitter username. Or DefeatedGerRee. Or FuckYouGerRee. I don't know.
For now, I can't bear to register anything. I am now fully engulfed in the flames of pouting. Burning, burning....
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