Remember that time when I was all addicted?

Exactly one week ago, I couldn't imagine how I would make it through the rest of the week. I pictured myself, lying in an alley, passed out with an empty Lamar's Donuts box over my face and the awful stench of failure surrounding me.

But I did it, I went the week (with a minor adjustment to make room for life on Thursday night). The reset ended Friday evening and then I was released into the wild, into a world of ALL THAT FOOD, and you know what? Still towing the line. I've been preparing my meals, planning my day, walking past the kitchen at work which smelled suddenly of bacon and mac n' cheese all the time (eff you, office mates), and still I'm really doing a-ok. I did indulge in three vodka sodas at the LUPEC Crush Party, but that doesn't count.

Everyone knows the clear liquor doesn't count, right?

Anyhoo. I don't think I'm cured, by any stretch of the imagination. It's just that I can see so clearly now just how much I was shooting up with carbs. There are things in my kitchen now that only uber "with it" people know how to prepare: bulgur wheat, couscous, brown rice. Turns out, all you do is add hot water!

Okay, I knew that. But honestly, I thought it took a genius to cook well enough to make that stuff taste good. Turns out, anything tastes good after a week of not eating!

Okay, that's not really true. Found out not to ever EVER cook mushrooms in lime juice. (It was an accident.)

But seriously, people. Good food. It's worth the effort to reach past the Nutritional Industrial Complex and get your hands on some. I've been hot on the trail since reading Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food, which inspired me to grow a garden. But I think I was missing a major point: You can't really get the most out of real food if you're still also eating so much of the fake crap. But now, because I can feel a physical lightness, a clearheadedness, I'm a believer with a whole new fervor. (Don't worry, I don't have to talk about it at parties if you don't want to.)

Plus. Over six pounds gone and counting. Come on. I get to learn how to cook new recipes AND lose weight? Hey. Know what we're having for dinner tonight? Filet mignon.

Lamar's Schlamars.

For the love of all that is food

I've been eating ANYTHING that fits in my mouth. And I've been wishing (as if I have no control over these matters) that I could just clear the slate and start over with my habits. I've done it before (at least twice), but it seems that this proposition gets harder every time.

Enter: my pal C, who, on a trip to Aspen to celebrate our pal Julie's birthday, got us all geeked up to do a Reset. Man. Three girls can work themselves into a frenzy for just about anything. And I paid money for this strange form of torture.

This is my 2nd of five days, and if I don't run screaming to the movies for popcorn first, (CRAVING. Hard) I can tell by my body's reaction that there really is the potential for a reset because it is clear that I'm in the throes of withdrawal, here.

Headache? Check.
Irritation? Check.
The shakes? Check.

It's disturbing that, by the way I eat, something that should be so simple as food, repast, sustenance, fuel, nourishment, has instead become a full-blown chemical addiction. And let's not even get into the emotional addiction part.

I love food. LOVE it. Love to grow it in my garden. Love to prepare it for my family and friends. Love to eat it. Here's hoping a little time away from it will help me put it in a much healthier context. Because it's true that you can love something so much that it hurts.

El DeBarge is coming! With Mary J. Bl- WTF??

Remember my post about El DeBarge? Of course you don't. But even so, this is still exciting and bizarre news: According to Denver Post's REVERB, he is coming to Denver! With Mary J. Blige! (I mean, duh, right? Those two: Like peas in a damn pod, I tell you.) El. De.Barge. C'mon, y'all. Don't even try to deny your excitement.

"When you feel like the world is on your shoulders
And all of the madness has got you goin' crazy..."

Oh my god. I can already feel the pleated pants and sequins against my skin.

CORRECTION: I didn't read REVERB's facebook post very well. El DeBarge will not be stopping off in Denver: "EL DEBARGE IS ON TOUR! With Mary J. Blige? Random. No Colorado date. [<----I read that as no Colorado date yet.] But still. EL DEBARGE."

First post of 2010!

Pitiful.

I just logged in to this blog to link to my little sister's new blog and saw what state the ol' RWS is in.

Pitiful.

For 2.5 seconds I felt okay about the fact that I haven't posted ONE TIME all year because I know I've been posting to my Tumblr. But then I looked at that real quick and it's been four months.

Pitiful.

Here are some random facts about RIGHT NOW, August 17th, 2010:

1. My grandpa has a tumor choking his liver. It's inoperable.
2. My godson swallowed a quarter "trying to clean it," and had to go to the ER. He lives!
3. My garden (which I absolutely LOVE growing) has approxiately 50 green tomatoes in it that absolutely refuse to turn red.
4. My favorite dancer won SYTYCD this season. That's never happened before.
5. My standards for "happy" are at an all-time low, I think.

That last one is a doozy and it just sort of came out. A Buddhist would read that and think, "Good for you!" but I don't actually mean it in a very Zen way at all.


Still. 2010 beats 2008 and 2009 all to hell so far!

I'll sign off with a photo of my grandpa proudly displaying a beautiful watermelon grown in his garden, which is eerily similar to my last post.

For the BALLS! audience

Tonight, I'll be performing in Mare Trevathan and Melanie Owen-Padilla's wayward holiday brainchild, BALLS! It's part variety show, part living room party. I can't wait to see what they've cooked up!




Speaking of cooking, I plan to refer to this very, very yummy recipe by Giada De Laurentiis just before I perform "The Christmas Song," by Mel Torme, with Jimmy Ruberto on the upright bass. (A dream come true for me.)

So I'm placing this here for anyone in the audience who decides to embrace the chestnut and make it for their Christmas dinner: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/raffys-turkey-sausage-and-chestnut-stuffing-recipe/index.html

Merry Christmas, all! And after the holidays, if you want to blow off some steam with more onstage zaniness, drop by Freak Train on the 28th!

Hard work gives you permission

"What are we doing in rehearsal? What are we striving for? What is the point of all the discipline, hard work and training? The preparation and sweating and memorizing and studying is not the point, rather it is the indispensable discipline and sweat that endows upon us the permission to take up space and make wild, surprising and untamed choices."


I love this woman.


Read more from Anne Bogart here: http://siti.groupsite.com/post/october-2009-fuck-you-anne

Write, You Boring Loser!

Why is it that, for almost all of 2009, I've had almost nothing to blog about? Meaning, I can think of nothing to write that anyone else would be remotely interested in reading.

My job's... jobby. So, yeah. Oh, and I took a hiatus from big theatrical projects this year. And I don't have any family in crisis. Well, no crisis that I could share publicly. That is, until I write my tell-all memoirs and air out all our dirty laundry! (Please. Like any of my family wouldn't tell you themselves what's effed up in their lives.)

Hmmm. I guess I just don't have much in common with anyone right now. And also, I think too many people I know would read this (five people) and so I can't even do the easy thing and make fun of other people's Internetting Efforts.

HEY! Speaking of, you know what's not funny? A LOT of stuff on FunnyOrDie.com. I was just watching this thing made by this friend of a friend. And it was not funny. Typical bloggers would probably post it here so you could see for yourself how not funny it was. And then you could say stuff about it, too. Or maybe you could even defend it. Like, "Hey! That's me in that sketch! You're wrong! That's funny!"

But.

I'm not going to post it.

BORING.